The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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