They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
