Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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