you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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