her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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