Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
