I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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