I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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