I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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