u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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