Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
