We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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