when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
