Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
