party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize