I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
