Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
