if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
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