Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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