the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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