I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
