HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize