She said her name was "party"
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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