My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
MIDGETS
????
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
