Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Alive.
So much puke
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
