GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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