This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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