So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
