i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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