Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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