We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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