White coat. Heels.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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