Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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