I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Alive.
So much puke
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
