Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You need a sexual gate keeper
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
