As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
