Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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