I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I had to cum in my sink.
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