Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
