i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
