just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
