I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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