so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
