My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
