woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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