i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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