ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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