Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
