dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
