Duck Duck Cougar?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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