drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
