i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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