From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
not ubering you a puppy
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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