All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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