I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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