I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just blew my weed a kiss
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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