btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
