Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
